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Thyden Gross and Callahan LLPCounselors and Attorneys at Law

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FATHERS’ RIGHTS
NOT JUST EVERY OTHER WEEKEND

This is about fathers' rights law, and protecting the best interests of your children. It provides information, news and comments on laws, cases and strategies for life as a single father and winning your custody, access or child support case.

Archive for January, 2008

When a Father Is Late Picking up the Children

Thursday, January 31st, 2008

“When the father is late, the mother has a choice. She can criticize him and say, ‘Oh, he’s such an irresponsible guy and he cares more about his girlfriend than he does about you.’

Or she can think about what she would say if they were still happily married and she didn’t want to undermine the child’s respect for his father.

She might say, ‘Oh, dad is always late for things. Lots of people are. I wish dad were better at being on time. But he’ll be here soon. Let’s find something to do until he arrives.’ “

— Constance Ahrons, The Good Divorce

Survivor Island for Fathers

Tuesday, January 29th, 2008

My wife sent me this email today that is making the rounds on the Internet. We need a brave father to write a response in the comments section.

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks. Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.

There is no fast food. Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, and complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of “pretend” bills with not enough money.

In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week. Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time. Each man must also take each child to a doctor’s appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care. He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function. Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done. The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep fingernails polished and eyebrows groomed. During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting. They will need to read a book and then pray with the children each night and in the morning, feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 7:00 am.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child’s birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor’s name Also the child’s weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child’s favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if…he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment’s notice.

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years eventually earning the right to be called Mother!

Britney Shows Us What Not to Do in a Custody Fight

Sunday, January 27th, 2008

?The judge has continued the visitation order against Britney Spears for failing to show up at her custody hearing earlier this month.

Law Professor, Joanna Grossman, has written an instructive article on the lessons we can learn from the Spears case. She notes that Spears probably could have won custody, and maybe she could even now, but she continues to shoot herself in the foot. Here are some things not to do if you want to win a custody case.

1. Obey Court Orders. Spears lost access to her two sons last year when she failed to submit to a drug test.

2. Show Up for Court. This month, Spears made it to the courthouse, albeit 4 hours late, but then left abruptly before going into the courtroom. The judge continued the no contact order against her.

3. Behavior Counts. The court will decide who gets custody. The judge will make this decision based on which parent he or she thinks is going to be best for the children. The court will rely on the custody evaluator. If you are involved with drugs or alcohol and party every night, do not expect this to be in your favor.

4. The Judge Decides. Leaving it up to the judge, a stranger, is usually not the best way to get what you want.

5. Listen to Your Lawyer. Britney is on her third law firm and that one has petitioned to be allowed to withdraw from her case. Why pay a lawyer for advice if you are not going to follow it?

6. Custody is Always Modifiable. Britney could still turn this case around. But she has to turn herself around first.

Pro Se Dad

Thursday, January 24th, 2008

I just discovered Pro Se Dad, a nice website for parents representing themselves in custody disputes. Pro Se is Latin for “Do it yourself”. The site has articles in various categories like law, strategy, attorneys and psychology. Recent posts have been about custody evaluations and BANS (a negotiation tactic that stands for Best Alternative to a Negotiated Settlement). There are no ads. The author appears to be anonymous, but he says he created the website while he was in family court himself.

 
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