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Divorce Lawyers

Thyden Gross and Callahan LLPCounselors and Attorneys at Law




This is about fathers' rights law, and protecting the best interests of your children. It provides information, news and comments on laws, cases and strategies for life as a single father and winning your custody, access or child support case.

Archive for February, 2010

Facebook Evidence in Custody Battles

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010

Postings on Facebook are turning up as Exhibit 1 in more and more custody battles.  Although custody is supposed to be about best interests of the children, parties in conflict are more often than not inclined to try to show the other is a bad parent.

If you post your thoughts on Facebook, you may be giving the other side a roadmap for your case.  Do you want your spouse and his or her counsel to know what you are thinking and what your strategy is?

If you make angry statements about your spouse, you may be stepping in wet concrete.  The other side can use these statements in court to attack your credibility if you say something different.  Or to show the judge what kind of person you are if the statements are unreasonable.

The solution is to keep this in mind.  The first thing your spouse’s attorney will do after signing the retainer, is print out all your Facebook posts to use against you at trial.

Vary Timesharing Schedules by Age of the Child

Friday, February 19th, 2010

by Jill H. Breslau

Typical timesharing schedules, like 50/50, or 5-2-2-5, or 4-3, or weekdays and weekends do not take into account the needs of children are different at various ages and stages of development.  Frequently, the approach to visitation is to consider the schedules and convenience of the parents first, figure out a logical access schedule, and then see if the children can adjust to it.

But a baby doesn’t need the same kind of access schedule that a 12 year old does.  Their basic needs and developmental tasks are different.  The baby’s “task” is to learn to bond, because all future emotional relationships depend on early bonding.  The baby needs continuity and frequency of contact, because for a baby, when someone goes away for weeks at a time, it is as if they died.

A 12 year old on the other hand, needs time with parents that takes into account his or her need to develop peer relationships and extracurricular activities.  And any children with issues like ADHD or special needs may have unique requirements that parents should consider when setting up schedules.

It is not easy to look at life through your child’s eyes. But a good parenting plan and child access schedule does just that.  You are a parent for the long haul; your children grow and change, and so should your schedule.  The way to begin to establish a schedule is by understanding the needs of each child.

Quote of the Day

Thursday, February 11th, 2010

“I have found that the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.” – Harry S. Truman

Mother Loses Motion for Supervised Visitation

Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010

Darryl Payne of New Jersey was married with three adult children and living with his wife when he began dating Emma Walden.  Darryl and Emma had a daughter together.  When they split up, Emma  got custody of the daughter and Darryl got visitation on Saturdays.

During visitation, the daughter would spend some time with Darryl, his wife, her half siblings and some time with Darryl’s new girlfriend and the new girlfriend’s son.  Emma was opposed to her daughter being exposed to such behavior and asked the court to require supervised visitation.

The trial judge threw the case out with a brief decision, “Your application to modify visitation and [for] supervised visitation is denied.  Thank you very much. Have a pleasant holiday.”

While the Appellate Court said the trial judge should have explained his decision better, Emma had brought this objection up in previous hearings and had not shown a change in circumstances had occurred that would justify changing visitation to supervised.

Read more at New Jersey Family Law.

Country Songs We Wish We’d Written

Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010

Highway 20 Ride

by the Zac Brown Band

I ride east every other Friday but if I had it my way
The day would not be wasted on this drive
And I want so bad to hold you
So much things I haven’t told you
Your mom and me couldn’t get along
So I’ll drive
And I think about my life
And wonder why, that I slowly die inside.

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