I am now the morning parent for our two beamish boys, ages 8 and 12.  If your house is anything like mine, no matter how early you wake up, or how organized you are the night before, there is a rush at the last minute to organize book bags, musical instruments, shoes, glasses, lunches and other things.   Several times, we have left things at home that had to be ferried to school later.

I might have stumbled upon a system that works.  Ten minutes before we leave, I call an “Inspection”.  The boys stand in formation at attention.  I go through the checklist: Teeth brushed?  Check.  Hair combed?  Check.  Book bags packed?  Check.  And so on.

The penalty for missing something is 5 pushups.  Get down and count them out, mister.

They can also get pushup credits for doing something extra.  The first day one of the boys made his bed.  The next day they were fighting over who was going to make the beds.  One of them gave his brother five of his pushup credits.  So I gave him five more for being so generous.

This is working out well so far.  Both boys completed inspection perfectly this morning.  We’ll see how long it lasts.  Let me know in the comments if you try it and what success you have.

One plan for reducing the deficit is to make divorce harder.  The Coalition for Divorce Reform says that a single parent family resulting from divorce can cost the federal government about $20,000 to $30,000 a year.  That results in an overall expense of $33 billion to $112 billion a year.

Divorce reform advocates are arguing that making divorce less easy can save the government billions of dollars in an era of mounting debt and deficits.  Reformers cite these studies:

– A Pew Charitable Trust Study in 2010 found that children of divorced parents often are hindered economically and unable to reach higher-income levels.

-– W. Bradford Wilcox wrote in a 2009 paper, citing research by professors Paul Amato and Alan Booth of Pennsylvania State University, that if America “enjoyed the same level of family stability today as it did in 1960,” there would be 70,000 fewer suicides, 600,000 fewer children undergoing therapy, 500,000 fewer acts of teenage delinquency, 750,000 fewer children repeating grades, and 1.2 million fewer school suspensions each year.

-– A new study by Howard Friedman and Leslie Martin says children of divorced parents live an average of five years less than children whose parents stayed together.

Source:  OpposingViews.com

42-year-old Anthony Morelli, of Pennsylvania, set up a blog in 2007 to chronicle the details of his divorce and custody battle with Allison.  He called it Thepyschoexwife.com.  Since then it has attracted more than 200,000 followers a month, many of them venting about their exes as well.

Family Court Judge Diane Gibbons, however, took a dim view of the blog, especially since the couple has two sons, ages 10 and 12.  She ordered Morelli to shut down the site.

In its place, Morelli has set up Savethepyschoexwife.com, to raise legal fees to challenge the judge’s ruling on freedom of speech grounds.  He has already received over $5,000 in contributions.

Source:  Maggie Flecknoe, fox26medford.com

Arnold Schwarzenegger does not agree that he should have to pay alimony or attorney fees for Maria Shriver according to divorce pleadings filed by his attorney in response to her complaint for divorce.

The pleadings may not make much difference if the couple settles out of court.

Both parties are asking the court for joint custody of their sons, age 17 and 13.  Child support will also have to be addressed in the settlement.

Source:  Bakersfieldnow.com

Dorene and Richard Ward of Georgia were divorced in March of 2007 and Richard was awarded primarily physical custody of the parties’ two children.

In 2008, Dorene filed an action to obtain sole custody of the children.  She lost and the court amended her visitation to provide that she “shall not have any overnight male guests while the minor children are present.”

Dorene appealed contending that this provision was overbroad, because on its face it prohibits her from having her father, a brother, a new spouse, or even the children’s father spend the night at her house while the minor children are present.

The appeals court agreed.  It said a trial court has discretion to place restrictions on custodial parents’ behavior that will harm their children.  While the trial court could limit visitation if it finds that the children would be adversely affected if any boyfriends of Dorene spent the night with her, the restriction against “any overnight male guests” would prohibit Dorene from having visitors with whom she has no romantic relationship and for whom the record does not support a finding of any harmful effect on her children.

Ward v. Ward, No. S11A0437 (Georgia Supreme Court, May 31, 2011)

There is an emerging brotherhood of men in their 40s, 50s or 60s, according to the Tucson Citizen, who are raising young children.  Some of them have adult children and grandchildren as well.  They can get the senior discount and the child’s discount at the same place.

Many men in the Baby Boomers generation married young, worked hard and built their careers.  Then they got divorced and may have remarried a younger spouse who wanted children.

“These men are doing it the second time around, often with women half their age,” says Michael Kimmel, a sociologist at Stony Brook University in Stony Brook, N.Y. He calls the phenomenon “serial paternity.”  For some this is an opportunity to repeat their child-rearing experiences, and in some cases, to get it right the second time.

The men interviewed said it was worth it, even with sleepless nights and cranky kids.  Most have more time, more patience and more financial resources than when they were younger.

Health was a concern.  Most of the fathers said they exercise regularly to keep up with their kids.

You know how kids like to add a half year to their age, like saying “I’m five and a half years  old”?  If your access schedule has every other birthday or no birthdays with your child, Orr General Store for Parents suggests throwing a half-birthday party.

The website says, “Half birthday parties can be even more fun that the regular party.  You bake half a cake.  If you’re not a baker, buy the cake and cut it in half.  Sing half of the birthday song or every other word.  Fill the cups half full.  You’ll think of lots of things to make it a special half birthday party.  As your child grows older it will become a funnier party because the child can add their own half touches.”

And there is even a website where you can find all the party supplies you need to throw a half birthday.

Fatemeh and Thomas entered into a marital settlement agreement in 2006, which required Thomas to pay $1200 per month in child support for three years and then $750 an month into a college educational account for the children.

Shortly before the three years was up, Fatemeh filed a petition to modify child support claiming the provision converting the $1200 monthly child support payment to a $750 payment into a college educational account was void as against public policy.

The court said the provision would have violated public policy if it relieved Thomas entirely or permanently from his duty to support his minor child.  A parent may not waive or otherwise contract away their child’s right to support.  But that does not prevent parents from making contracts or agreements concerning their child’s support so long as the best interests of the children are served.  Since the payment was directed into an account for the benefit of the child, there was no public policy violation in the provision of the settlement agreement requiring the child support payment of $750 to be deposited into a college educational account.

Laussermair v. Laussermair, No. 4D09-4823, 36 Fla. L. Weekly D448
(Florida District Court of Appeal, Fourth District, March 2, 2011)

In a new study at Arizona State University, researchers gave three hypothetical child custody cases to participants and asked them to be the judge.

In one case vignette, the mother was the primary care giver 75 percent of the time.  In another, the father, and in a third they divided child care equally.  In each case, neither parent wanted equal custody, but were each requesting as much living time with the children as possible because each now genuinely feels the children would be better off mostly in their care and not so much in the care of the other parent.

Surprisingly, most decided that timesharing should be equally divided in all three cases.  However, when asked how a real judge would decide, most said that the mother would get more time with the children than the father.  This indicates that the public perception is that courts are unfairly biased toward the mother in custody cases.

Patricia and Michael Martin met in 2002 and were married in 2004. Shortly after their son was born in 2007, Patricia discovered that Michael was having an affair.

Patricia filed for divorce in New Hampshire and asked the court to let her relocate with the son to Rhode Island where her parents lived. The court said no and she appealed.

New Hampshire law provides that the parent seeking permission to relocate bears the initial burden of demonstrating, by a preponderance of the evidence, that (a) The relocation is for a legitimate purpose; and (b) The proposed location is reasonable in light of that purpose.

Patricia argued that her legitimate reason for wanting to relocate was her needs for emotional and financial support from her Rhode Island family.

However, the court noted she had a full time job in New Hampshire, and no comparable job prospects in Rhode Island.  As for the emotional support, Patricia’s counseling records indicated that she did not have a strong relationship with her parents in the past.  The court found that the primary reason Patricia wanted to move was to avoid interaction with the father and to get away from him.

In re Martin, No. 2009-556, (New Hampshire Supreme Court, August 19, 2010)