Someone asked today for the Maryland case that prevents a parent from relocating to another state with the minor children before a custody order is entered.

Surprise!  In Maryland, there is no case and no law against it.  Some lawyers and some judges will disapprove of this tactic, especially in the middle of a school year, but it is not illegal.

Until there is a custody order, both parties have joint legal and physical custody of their children under the common law.  That means either parent can take them anywhere.

It is then up to the parent left behind to go to court and try to get an order for their return.

Guest post by Lauren Williams, staff writer at King Law Offices, Family Law Attorneys in NC & SC.

In Maryland, a child’s entitlement to support does not depend upon parents’ marital status. Every child is entitled to a level of support in proportion to the parents’ economic position regardless of whether the child is born of wedlock or out-of-wedlock or to parents whose marriage ended in divorce.  As with children of divorce, children born out-of-wedlock are entitled to fairness and equity in regard to child support.

“Born out-of-wedlock” means born to an unmarried female or born to a married female but begotten during the continuance of the marriage status by one other than her husband.

Under Md. Code Ann., Est. & Trusts § 1-206(a) there is a presumption that the child is a legitimate child if the child is born or conceived during a marriage. A child born to parents who are not married is considered to be the child of the mother. Pursuant to Md. Code Ann., Est. & Trusts § 1-208(b), the ‘father and child relationship’ can be established in one of the following four methods: (1) Judicial determination of paternity, (2) Acknowledgment by father in writing that he is the father of the child, (3) Open and notorious recognition by the father that he is the father of the child, or (4) Acknowledgment by father that he is the father of the child after marrying the mother.

The Paternity Statute (Fam. Law §§ 5-1001 through 5-1048) provides a rebuttable presumption that the child is the legitimate child of the man to whom child’s mother was married at the time of conception. Upon request of a party, the court may order the parties (mother, child and the father) to submit to blood or genetic tests to determine the paternity. If the test reveals a statistical probability of the father’s paternity of at least 99.0%, it may be received into evidence and constitutes a rebuttable presumption of the paternity.  The court may pass necessary orders declaring the father based on the test.  The court may also pass necessary orders for 1, support, 2. Custody of the child, 3. Visitation rights with the child, 4. Giving bond, and 5. Any other matter that is related to the general welfare and best interests of the child.

If the child was conceived during a marriage, mere declaration by father claiming to be the father of a child born out-of-wedlock is not sufficient to overcome the presumption of legitimacy of the child based on the time of conception.  In order to overcome the presumption, the father must provide certain proof(s) specified in Md. Code Ann., Fam. Law § 5-1027(c)(2), (3), and (4).

Maryland follows the income shares model for child support.  Under this model, a child is entitled to a standard of living that corresponds to the economic position and lifestyle of the parents.

Two of my friends called for some advice this week.  One is a father who is separated from the mother.  That have a little girl.  The mother has remarried and her new husband and my friend are in constant conflict over the child.  So far they have had disputes over visitation, clothing, discipline, medical treatment and sports. As might be suspected, the mother sides with the new husband in these disputes.  I have suggested settlement, mediation and a parenting coordinator but the mother has rebuffed all of these suggestions.

My other friend is a stepfather.  He married a woman who has a little boy from a previous marriage.  The birth father sees the little boy from time to time but he lives far away and my friend really has the day to day parenting role.  He and the boy have become quite fond of each other.  My friend would adopt the boy if the father would agree.  He has all the obligations of fatherhood but none of the rights of a father.

There are two sides to every issue.  It would be great if fathers and stepfathers could work together cooperatively for the benefit of the child.  But in many cases, there is too much emotion involved to make that possible.

In the child custody fight between football start Deion Sanders and his wife Pilar, a Texas jury has awarded full custody of their two sons, ages 11 and 13, to Deion and shared custody of their daughter, age 9.

Sometimes celebrities can teach us what not to do.  TMZ reports that an Atlanta family court judge has awarded Tawanna Iverson custody of her five children with NBA basketball star Allen Iverson.

The judge found that Allen “does not know how to manage the children; has little interest in learning to manage the children and has actually, at times, been a hindrance to their spiritual and emotional growth and development.  For example, he has refused to attend to an obvious and serious alcohol problem, which has caused him to do inappropriate things in the presence of the children while impaired.  He has left the children alone without supervision. He has left his young daughters in a hotel room with men who are unknown to the mother.”

The judge gave Allen visitation on the conditions that he:

• not drink alcohol for 18 months
• after that, not drink alcohol within 24 hours of visitation
• engage in mental health therapy
• attend AA meetings for a year

Thomas Matlack writes in the New York Times today  about how his painful divorce taught him to be a better dad to his children.

“My time with Kerry and Seamus was limited to trips to McDonald’s and a walk across the highway to Federal Hill for pizza a couple of times a week. But even that was progress. I had been an absent dad up until that point, working nonstop. And when I wasn’t working, I was drinking and getting into trouble. I was 31 going on about 14.” said Matlack.

Later he became an active parent for his children, which he says may never have happened without the divorce.

“For six years I was on my own with two little children for long stretches of time: wrestling, crying, laughing, cooking, cleaning, traveling to visit family, throwing up (a lot), and cuddling them into bed only to come back later and look in wonder at the angels who had transformed me.” Matlack says.

More than a million children have parents who divorce or separate each year.  Many of these children are pre-schoolers.  Yet resources for pre-schoolers with divorced or separated parents are hard to find.

“Big Feelings” is a 13 minute video produced by Sesame Street that will be available on the Internet.  When Abby, a fairy-in-training, draws pictures of homes with her friends, Elmo and Rosita are surprised to see that Abby has drawn two homes.  “This one is where I live with my mommy,” says Abby, “and this one is where I live with my daddy.”

This is part of a multimedia kit called Little Children, Big Challenges: Divorce.  The kit includes a storybook called Two Day Hug, a guide for parents and an app.

Steven Small and Shelly D. Mahon are conducting a survey of divorced fathers at the University of Wisconsin, Madison.  They are looking for fathers of children, ages 8 and 16, who have been divorced or separated within the last two years.  You can register at their website, “Apart, Not Broken”.

This is a free, 12 week, multi-media program over the Internet which includes:

• Videos reflecting the real life experiences of other divorced fathers;
• A discussion forum for you to connect and share with other fathers;
• Online tools for sharing photos, comparing calendars, journaling, using a whiteboard, and communicating via chat, video chat, and email;
• Current and concise information about divorce and parenting after divorce;
• Recommended activities for you and your child; and
• Additional resources such as book lists and helpful web sites.

A study by an Australian College has found that divorced and separated fathers are spending more time with their children than the traditional every other weekend visitation schedule.  Dr. Bruce Smyth sampled 408 separated parents.  He found that, regardless of the parenting arrangements, children usually moved between homes two to four times every two weeks.  The study found that separated parents were cooperating with each other in balancing their schedules with the children’s needs and being more flexible in their timesharing.

I’ll Keep the Kids

by Montgomery Gentry

You don’t have to holler,
And we don’t have to fight.
We can settle all this, right here
Right now, tonight

No need to call no lawyer
You don’t have to pack no bags
It’s obvious, all you want is
Half more than your half

I see here on this paper
You wrote what you want down
Want me to sign over
What was ours is all yours now

Take the house that my sweat built ya’
Here’s the keys to both the cars
I’ll give you up the title to my ole Harley in the barn

Take all our family pictures
And our records off the wall
And any other sign of livin’ proof
That I lived here at all

Can’t help but not see a couple little things
Not there on your list
So if you don’t care
I’ll keep the kids

Look at dads old Gibson,
I see you wrote that down
Girl, that’s below the belt
But it’s all yours now
There’s Grandmas diamond ring
She wore it fifty some odd years
She’ll probably roll over in her grave,
But, I’ll leave it here
I’m outta here

Take the bass boat and that tractor,
All my guns and Earnhardt hat.
Every nickel we had tucked away
And twenty years I can’t get back
Take the shirt right off my shoulders
Hope it fits ole what’s his name
Take everything you think your world revolves around everyday

Can’t help but not see a couple little things
Not there on your list
So if you don’t care
I’ll keep the kids

Can’t help but not see a couple little things
Not there on your list
So if you don’t care
I’ll keep the kids

Couple little things you won’t miss…