This is about fathers’ rights law, and protecting the best interests of your children. It provides information, news and comments on laws, cases and strategies for life as a single father and winning your custody, access or child support case.
Carlos J. Phillips says don’t make these top three mistakes men make after divorce.
#1 – Rush back to the altar too soon
#2 – Become the town playboy now that you are single
#3 – Introduce your children to the new woman in your life way too soon.
One plan for reducing the deficit is to make divorce harder. The Coalition for Divorce Reform says that a single parent family resulting from divorce can cost the federal government about $20,000 to $30,000 a year. That results in an overall expense of $33 billion to $112 billion a year.
Divorce reform advocates are arguing that making divorce less easy can save the government billions of dollars in an era of mounting debt and deficits. Reformers cite these studies:
– A Pew Charitable Trust Study in 2010 found that children of divorced parents often are hindered economically and unable to reach higher-income levels.
-– W. Bradford Wilcox wrote in a 2009 paper, citing research by professors Paul Amato and Alan Booth of Pennsylvania State University, that if America “enjoyed the same level of family stability today as it did in 1960,” there would be 70,000 fewer suicides, 600,000 fewer children undergoing therapy, 500,000 fewer acts of teenage delinquency, 750,000 fewer children repeating grades, and 1.2 million fewer school suspensions each year.
-– A new study by Howard Friedman and Leslie Martin says children of divorced parents live an average of five years less than children whose parents stayed together.
Source: OpposingViews.com
42-year-old Anthony Morelli, of Pennsylvania, set up a blog in 2007 to chronicle the details of his divorce and custody battle with Allison. He called it Thepyschoexwife.com. Since then it has attracted more than 200,000 followers a month, many of them venting about their exes as well.
Family Court Judge Diane Gibbons, however, took a dim view of the blog, especially since the couple has two sons, ages 10 and 12. She ordered Morelli to shut down the site.
In its place, Morelli has set up Savethepyschoexwife.com, to raise legal fees to challenge the judge’s ruling on freedom of speech grounds. He has already received over $5,000 in contributions.
Arnold Schwarzenegger does not agree that he should have to pay alimony or attorney fees for Maria Shriver according to divorce pleadings filed by his attorney in response to her complaint for divorce.
The pleadings may not make much difference if the couple settles out of court.
Both parties are asking the court for joint custody of their sons, age 17 and 13. Child support will also have to be addressed in the settlement.
Source: Bakersfieldnow.com
Dorene and Richard Ward of Georgia were divorced in March of 2007 and Richard was awarded primarily physical custody of the parties’ two children.
In 2008, Dorene filed an action to obtain sole custody of the children. She lost and the court amended her visitation to provide that she “shall not have any overnight male guests while the minor children are present.”
Dorene appealed contending that this provision was overbroad, because on its face it prohibits her from having her father, a brother, a new spouse, or even the children’s father spend the night at her house while the minor children are present.
The appeals court agreed. It said a trial court has discretion to place restrictions on custodial parents’ behavior that will harm their children. While the trial court could limit visitation if it finds that the children would be adversely affected if any boyfriends of Dorene spent the night with her, the restriction against “any overnight male guests” would prohibit Dorene from having visitors with whom she has no romantic relationship and for whom the record does not support a finding of any harmful effect on her children.
Ward v. Ward, No. S11A0437 (Georgia Supreme Court, May 31, 2011)
Patricia and Michael Martin met in 2002 and were married in 2004. Shortly after their son was born in 2007, Patricia discovered that Michael was having an affair.
Patricia filed for divorce in New Hampshire and asked the court to let her relocate with the son to Rhode Island where her parents lived. The court said no and she appealed.
New Hampshire law provides that the parent seeking permission to relocate bears the initial burden of demonstrating, by a preponderance of the evidence, that (a) The relocation is for a legitimate purpose; and (b) The proposed location is reasonable in light of that purpose.
Patricia argued that her legitimate reason for wanting to relocate was her needs for emotional and financial support from her Rhode Island family.
However, the court noted she had a full time job in New Hampshire, and no comparable job prospects in Rhode Island. As for the emotional support, Patricia’s counseling records indicated that she did not have a strong relationship with her parents in the past. The court found that the primary reason Patricia wanted to move was to avoid interaction with the father and to get away from him.
In re Martin, No. 2009-556, (New Hampshire Supreme Court, August 19, 2010)
House Bill 1132, if passed, would establish a presumption in favor of joint custody for children in Maryland. The Judiciary Committee of the Maryland House of Delegates is considering the bill, which would add the following as Section 9-109 to the Maryland Family Law Article:
IN AN INITIAL CHILD CUSTODY PROCEEDING, WHETHER PENDENTE LITE OR PERMANENT, INVOLVING THE PARENTS OF A CHILD, THERE IS A REBUTTABLE PRESUMPTION THAT:
(1) JOINT LEGAL CUSTODY IS IN THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD; AND
(2) PHYSICAL CUSTODY TO EACH PARENT FOR APPROXIMATELY EQUAL PERIODS OF TIME IS IN THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD.
Similar bills have failed before, but they are always hotly debated with strong advocates on either side. I’m not sure it really makes that much difference in the end in litigation. With or without the presumption, the judge still decides whether custody should be joint or sole with one parent or the other, based on what the judge thinks is in the best interest of the child. In settlement negotiations, however, it might replace “every other weekend” as a starting position.
Many times we see agreements or decrees that say the parents have joint legal custody and the mother (or the father) has physical custody of the children.
Legal custody is about long term parenting decisions, such as the education, health and religion of the children. Joint legal custody means the parents are to make those decisions together. Both have an equal vote and each has a veto power.
Physical custody means where the child resides most of the time. The other parent has visitation or access or timesharing. Each parent has care and custody of the child when they are with them, and can make day to day parenting decisions alone.
Here’s where legal world and real world part company. In the legal world, long term decisions are required to be made by agreement. But in the real world, if mom decides on her own to make Dr. A their pediatrician, dad usually doesn’t object. If dad does object, his only recourse is to take mom back to court and that usually costs more money than it is worth.
So sometimes, joint legal custody and primary physical custody ends up being, as a practical matter, the same as sole legal custody.
Custody battles can get pretty ugly. People do and say things they normally wouldn’t because the stakes are the highest they can be, namely, the children.
But the highest correlation to a child’s stability and well-being after a divorce is the health of the parent’s relationship.
So let’s call a truce to hostilities until the New Year. Put aside your disputes and differences for the sake of the children and let them have a conflict free holiday season.
The best holiday gift you can give them is to let them know they are loved by their mothers and fathers.
“Now, mam’m, you say that Mr. Jones never spent time with the children?” the father’s attorney says to the mother who is on the witness stand.
“That’s right.”
“Well take a look at this doctor’s report that says Mr. Jones took the children to four out of the last five visits. Did I read that right?”
“Yes.”
“And do you recall that Mr. Jones was at the school recital on November16?”
“Yes.”
“And he coaches their basketball team, doesn’t he?”
“Yes.”
“He took the children to the movies on Thanksgiving Day, didn’t he?”
“Yes.”
Trial Note to Dads: Small details can add to your credibility and take away from Mom’s credibility at a custody trial when Mom claims you don’t spend any time with the kids. Testimony is evidence, but so are doctor’s reports, school records, and your journal or diary of time spent with your kids.
